Friday, October 16, 2015

How to Make a Monster, Baby

This is probably going down as one of the worst years in my life. Though a lot of horrible terrible things have happened, I've never felt more talented and creative. I left my job at the Parade company in August, with the hopes of getting a more adult-career job that my friend was trying to hook me up with. I decided it was time to jump ship from my "college-student-pay job" and get something that will pay my student loans and take care of my daughter better. I spent over a month interviewing, it was going really well, and I felt entirely sure I already had the job. Then my friend who set me up with the job, took it, because she didn't like her new job.

So after losing a job I thought I had, a friend of eight years, I tried to beg for my old job back. I cried, I begged, I apologized, I said I was afraid I was going to lose my house, I have a small daughter, it was desperate and pathetic and entirely degrading but sincere. I think he enjoyed turning me away. So I'm in a terrible place emotionally and financially. I can't get an interview for the life of me, my applications are in lots of hands, but it doesn't go any further. I get nothing but occasional automated emails of rejection and lots of family members inquiring and reopening the wound. I'm so bitter, broken, and embarrassed.

I have been trying to keep my mind and hands busy with artwork though, while trying to make a little money too. I feel like I'm bursting with ideas and projects and creativity. I'm also more confident in my abilities than ever before. I know I can sculpt anything in the world that someone tells me to. I'm incredibly skilled and talented, and I just wish someone would give me the opportunity to prove myself and give me a chance. So in the meantime, I'm doing a ton of art, and commission work for people and their Halloween costumes.

Hopefully, I'll get a break soon, and I'll use all this "life-experience" bull to help make me the monster I need to be, to get what I need and want.

P.S. My new art facebook fan page is called Odd Sculpture by Ginger √Čtrange. (French word for Strange, and Ginger because I'm a redhead). Here's a peek at what I've been making : )

1 comment:

  1. Keep going, girl! Never give up, give in to creativity!! My father once made me grovel and beg to get a job that I hated back. Ha! I'm glad they refused! I learned never to do THAT again! I would not be where I am today. Why put up with mediocre when you are marvelous!! And YOU and your ART is uber marvelous!! Think of this time as a trial, a test--you will go beyond your wildest dreams. It takes only one, ONE person to LOVE what you are and do! Keep on...pick up your carving stick and GO! I believe in YOU!